Before:
Single white female here, NOT seeking a single white male…or any male for that matter. Independent to the core, I am devoted to only my career and the ambitions I hold. Money is no object, as I clearly make my own. Employed with a plumbing company and working my way to the top—alone! Opened minded but direct, I seek the company of like-minded people. Prefer sitting at my desk and organizing for Corrigan (My boss), and enjoying the fruits of my labor. Collect glass statues. Enjoys taking care of younger siblings, because parents are failures. If this sounds appealing, don’t call. I’m too busy to care.
After:
Single white female seeking MALE to continue the species. Lost in this sea of confusion, how are there even still newspaper publications being printed so that I can send this ad? Anyway, looking for someone who has survived the Hammer smash, can fend for themselves, and can remain independent in such a disaster. Well, my boss died when the comet hit—glass to the throat, tried to save him— so my job is now probably just like everyone else’s, over. Current hobbies include: Driving cars that I don’t own in order to escape near-death situations; throwing away dead babies that woman throw in my car and ask to protect; rescuing children from starvation and death. Little more dependent than I would like to be these days. But hey! It’s the end of the world. Got start over somehow. If you seems interested, I would say reply to this ad, but I don’t know how I would possibly get it. I guess this was just a waste of my new age currency.