So, I’ve never written a screenplay, but I have written comic scripts before, so I’m using that format. I’m doing the flashback to the supermarket on pages 183-5.
Page 1
[Page divided into three horizontal panels. I’m looking for a grey, dreary, overcast kind of feel to this — think late fall morning after it’s poured all night.]
Panel 1: Wide shot of an overgrown, dead field with a shack off to the left side. Corrugated metal roof, missing boards, general ramshackle. Water is dripping off the edge of the roof.
Panel 2: Interior of the shack. Burned out fire in the middle of the floor, gaunt man (FATHER) at the far right of the panel kneeling on the floor and peering out of a gap in the boards. An equally gaunt boy (BOY), I’m thinking 12 or 13, right on the cusp of puberty, is curled up asleep on a stack of flattened boxes at the far left. There are puddles on the concrete floor, one is very near the child’s head and a drop of water is just falling into it. I want lots of shadows here, big blocky swathes of dark and what colors there are need to be muted and washed out. FATHER and BOY are dressed in a ragbag patchwork of filthy clothing.
Panel 3: Far left of panel is a closeup of half of FATHER’S face, surrounded by black, which then gradients out to the inside of a 1950’s esque drugstore. Saturate the colors more here — this is memory and a vivid one at that. The counter is black marble, and the stools are burgundy and tears have been repaired with peeling black electrical tape. One of the old-fashioned soda fountains is behind the counter and one tap is pushed up while the others are still down.
Page 2
[Splashpage. This is a wide view of the store, facing away from the counter and looking out the shattered plate glass windows onto a street. It is raining outside. To the left of the store interior is a ransacked pharmacy area, a smashed cash register on the floor along with broken scales, mortars and pestles, empty pill bottles, things like that scattered around. The middle of the page is taken up with shelves, some empty, others full. Empty shelves have signage and price info for things like food or candy, camping gear, lighters, etc. Full shelves have stereo equipment, video games, books, makeup, things like that on them. I want a very clear dichotomy between “things we have around because we like our toys and comforts”, and “things that could keep us alive”. The toys aren’t even touched, not even to push them off shelves and destroy them. Everything useful is utterly gone. The far lower right of the page has the FATHER and BOY, both a little less ragged and gaunt than in the first page. Both are carrying worn backpacks and poking around. The stools from the counter on the previous page are just visible on the middle/upper right of the splashpage.]
Page 3
[Three panels across the top third of the page, one large panel across the middle third, three small panels across the bottom third.]
Panel 1: FATHER, with his back to the reader, staring at an aisle directory sign that dangles from one chain above him. It reads “Aisle 6b, Hair Care, Makeup, Toiletries, Sundries, Notions” The shelves on the aisle are totally full.
Panel 2: FATHER in profile, looking terrified, on left of panel. There’s a noise bubble on the right, CRASH or CLATTER or something like that. FATHER has turned towards the sound.
Panel 3: BOY, back also to the reader, facing the marble counter. His hand is down by his left side, open, and a yellow toy truck is on the ground — it’s just dropped from his hand.
Panel 4: The reader gets her first view of the whole counter area. There’s the soda fountain from earlier, but now we can see the righthand side of the counter. There’s also an empty pastry display case, and, just beyond the antique cash register, a glass cake pedestal and dome. Angle the lines of the counter and stools to draw the eye to the cake dome — even though it’s at the far right of the panel it’s the focus. There’s a dessicated, almost mummified human head inside the dome. It’s wearing a bright red ballcap, and that color should be the brightest thing on the page. The head should be grey and leathery, with the teeth showing where the lips have shrunk back against the jaw and cheekbones. Real horrorshow stuff.
Panel 5: Closeup of the FATHER’S hand clasping the BOY’S, possibly some motion lines if you can get them in there without it looking dumb.
Panel 6: FATHER and BOY in silhouette, hurrying out through the door of the drugstore, into the rain. The yellow truck is left abandoned on the floor at the lower right corner of the panel.
Panel 7: Back to very washed-out colors, we’re clearly out of the memory sequence. FATHER is blowing on the coals and ashes of the burnt-out fire, with blackened board ends stacked up next to him. BOY is still on the boxes, but his eyes are open and blue.
BOY: There are other good guys. You said so.