by Random Guy on Craigslist
So,
Monday night
Just after the football game ended,
I look out the window
Across the street
There you are,
Just sitting there
On the sidewalk,
Clearly hammered,
Chatting on the phone.
I thought you might be cute,
But couldn’t tell
From where I was sitting.
Your friend came over,
I got up
To check out the both of you.
I was going to cross the street,
To say hello,
Then something happened.
Your friend grabbed your cell phone,
Threw it down
On the concrete sidewalk (hard)
Screaming about something
I couldn’t understand.
Then, she proceeded
To start punching you in the head,
Rapidly,
Furiously.
I thought you were in trouble.
You, however,
Must not have thought so.
You started punching back,
From your seated position,
Continuing to take blow after blow to the face.
I found your ability to
Defend yourself
From the backed against the wall position
So hot,
So sexy.
I really was impressed
Once the punching stopped
And the serious cussing out
Of each other began.
While pulling your thong,
Back down into your jeans,
You didn’t even miss one seconds’ opportunity
to scream at her,
Wishing her death
right there next to
Pizzeria Uno’s.
So amazingly attractive.
Wanna go cell phone shopping
sometime?